A Heart That Forgives & Dogs!

Last year I helped out with the movie A Heart That Forgives. First of all I covered it for InTerrell and then I got to be in it a little. Two days of so much fun! Yesterday was the red carpet screening here in Terrell. It had premiere two month ago in Plano but due to Canton Weekend, I couldn’t make it there which was so sad. But, yesterday I got the opportunity to watch it. I asked my awesome hairdresser Amber to help me do some nice hair do and she took the opportunity to color it as well. If you ever need a hairdresser in Terrell, Amber Crisman with Beauty Matters is the best, no doubt! Since my phone is broke and the temporary phone I have is having a bad camera this picture (taken by Amber) is the only one that was taken the entire night.
The movie was really good. Very emotional and a strong message! Yes, see it! And then go home and think about it!
It was also a lot of fun to see the finished product of what you had seen behind the scenes a couple of months ago. How everything came together. At the time what we shot didn’t make that much sense but it did in the end. It made it more special that it was made in Terrell, you recognize the locations and scenes. I truly had a blast watching it! Thank you M. Legend Brown and Ron Harris for letting me be a part of this!

Would you do me a favor? Please, if you have a dog, or two, or three or how many you might have, please give them a big hug from me. I miss mine so much. Today marks one year since my lovely Saint Bernard Hoppsan passed away. It was a couple of days ago I realized that this new blog actually had one year anniversary and I went back to see what happened a year ago when I saw that she took the rainbow bridge… She was old though. 9.5 years! That is old for a Saint Bernard! But she was one of the smartest dogs I’ve ever had. From day 1. She did search and rescue like no one else. She loved to chase mice and she had her favorite spot where she wanted to sleep. She did thing her way and had a mood like a queen. She was sweet and so lovely! It was such an honor to have her in my life for so long time! And an honor to have so many fun and happy memories of her!

And here I am, a year later… no dogs… alone… searching, never giving up hope that maybe one day I will stumble across one of them? Emotionally getting a little bit better day by day. Having good days and bad days. Just trying to hide the bad moments I have now. As this weekend has passed, Canton First Monday Weekend, I have been able to focus on other things than myself which has been good. I need to make sure that I have something scheduled for the weekends. Those are the hardest days, no doubt. Especially if I’m home alone or nothing specific going on. But I’m learning.

I was talking to a friend last week and I said that it is now 5 weeks ago all this traumatic things took place, I expect myself to have come further than I have in my grief and processing of this. He smiled back at me and asked… “you lived your life with the animals as your first priority for over 15 years, do you really expect yourself to just adjust from that and change your body and mind in 4 or 5 weeks?”  I have thought a lot about that since the conversation… I probably expect that from myself, yes, but not from anyone else. If the dogs had died I think it would be easier to move on but here another human being has gone in and decided how I shall or shall not live my life and that is hard to accept. The lies and the false accusations are unbearable. The movie in my mind is still playing on repeat, over and over again. I can’t get a closure in it so to say. But, absolutely… on a daily basis, I am a lot better than I was a couple of weeks ago!!!

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